I stop crying and get distracted for a couple of minutes but then the pain returns. I cant explain how i feel! People coming to visit left and right! “I’m sorry for your loss he’s in a better place now.” Tired of hearing these things! They ring in my head and don’t mean anything, they don’t help! Wish I could fall asleep and wake up to his voice telling me to get ready for school because it was past 6 a.m. Nothing will ever be the same!
I have big shoes to fill, a mother and 5 sisters to look after and help! It isn’t going to be easy but with the Lords help, I know it’ll be less painful with time!
I never know how to express myself. Never have the right words. I can’t process all my feelings anymore. I don’t know what to feel. But it isn’t about me. My dad isn’t doing well. Soon God will call him, and he will join him in heaven. Of course, i would give anything to have him healthy and be by his side supporting his ministry. But if God has other plans. I can’t control that. Besides he’ll have rest and be pain free and reunite with grandma and grandpa. I try to think of all the jewels on his crown. Hopefully one day I can be half the man he is! I ask for prayer for my family and I. We’ve always been a strong united family! And it will continue that way until the last breath. His legacy will live on. I love you dad. I’m sorry if I wasn’t the best son, I could have tried harder at times! There is NO mistaking you are the best dad anyone could ask for! You’ve touched so many people with your ministry, with the way God uses you! I love you champ! Forever and always! I will fight to live according to your examples and teachings. I’ll fight to be that son of God you taught me to be! Don’t worry about all the girls, I’ll do my best to take care of them as much as possible! You aren’t only a great father. But my best friend, brother, and pastor! I love you Dad!